Whether this relationship is with a friend, partner, or even family member, there are some things you just shouldn’t have to sacrifice. With no doubt, these situations become complex and confusing but it’s our job to guard our own mental health in any kind of relationship. As the saying goes, if the relationship doesn’t provide you with growth or benefits, maybe it’s time to think about simply leaving it be and moving forward.
Now, ‘moving forward’ from a relationship / friendship looks different to everyone. Moving forward may involve confronting that person about how you feel – I believe that respectable & genuine confrontation is always needed. But, it doesn’t mean that the other person will understand, agree or take what you said in a positive way. THIS IS OKAY. Yes, it will hurt and it will suck but you need to remind yourself that you are only responsible for YOUR actions, reactions and non-actions.
When you let the other person know how you feel and they want to talk about it – Great! Let me tell you, this is the best case scenario. Hopefully, with good conversation, this relationship will continue to thrive and grow from this.
When you let the other person know how you feel and they become defensive – Listen and be understanding as there are always 2 sides to every situation but, don’t beat around the bush. Continue to be honest. In this situation, I’ve learned that it’s important to be patient and remember that our negative reactions and responses are usually caused by other current stressful situations. Nonetheless, as long as you stay humble, kind and open minded, you will be able to determine whether to walk away from this relationship or just simply give it time to heal.
These are 6 things you shouldn’t have to sacrifice for someone else:
1. Your Self Worth & Sense of Self.
If the relationship brings you down more than it builds you up then please do not settle. You know you deserve much better. Continue to be kind but trust your gut when it tells you this may be a toxic relationship.
2. Your Personal Space & Time.
If you start to feel like the relationship is choking you as there are no boundaries when it comes to your personal time, this is a red flag. There is only so much of yourself that you can give to someone else. Don’t feel bad about that. And do not feel bad about doing you.
3. Your Health & Happiness.
If you find yourself always tending to that person in terms of only doing things on their time and not receiving much effort back? Don’t run yourself into a deep hole. It’s so easy to make excuses for those you love when they aren’t pulling their own weight but this only means that they just can’t give you what you need. And you know what, this is nobody’s fault! If you feel like you’re giving more of your time and efforts, maybe you should start to focus more on yourself and let that person be. A healthy and happy relationship / friendship thrives off of equal efforts and
you will feel the geniality from that person. Besides, all relationships go through hiccups – it’s the way things are dealt with that will tell you what kind of a relationship it is.
4. Your Beliefs & Values.
Yes, of course it is okay to have different opinions and beliefs but you shouldn’t have to change yours just to please or adhere to the other. No one should ever force or pressure you into ‘what you should think’.
5. Your Goals & Aspirations.
We all have different goals and aspirations in life so we need to make sure that we are constantly encouraging one another. You need to stay true to who you are and what you want in life. If the relationship is discouraging you in doing what you want to do, don’t settle.
Last but not least, If the other person in this relationship doesn’t listen to your concerns or makes you feel unprioritized and ignored, don’t settle. Respect is uncompromisable!
At the end of the day, you shouldn’t feel like you’re working hard for a relationship! To love and care for yourself means to give yourself the respect you deserve.